Feeling Awkward Around Young Kids?

Reading a snippet about feeling awkward around kids reaffirmed there is nothing wrong with those who feel uncomfortable around children.   Perhaps you have no experience with kids.  Does your gut groan around pre-adolescents…looking for what to say?  Have you purposely chosen to not father children but instead protectively care for plants, pets, or a project benefiting the planet?

Rather than judge or condemn, I respect those who live authentically.  One size does not fit all.  We are not meant to be experts at everything; some are better at some things than others, and sustaining that diversity honors all life.   I respect individuality but believe all of us need nurturing in whatever form it may be as evidenced by Ralph Waldo Emerson‘s sentiments:

Emerson

My joy is in a serene garden and when helping others.  Over three decades, I have created three-season flowering gardens, beautiful landscaping for the natural environment, and deliciously fresh organic vegetables and herbs.  It’s hard to say who was more nurtured in these activities — the plants or me — but, assuredly, the benefits were far-reaching.


Fathering is “to treat with protective care.”

What are you fathering?


 

 

Fake Holidays

At five years old, my birthday was my favorite time of year.  In my young adult dating years, Valentine’s Day ranked #1.   Christmas anticipation didn’t last long as my dysfunctional family of origin turned a Norman Rockwell holiday into one of chaos, anger and disappointment.  No fun.  For years, I dreaded winter holidays when stores began displaying Christmas decorations in September.  If I could only jump to January 2nd.  What happened to living in the moment — for merchants, or for me?

As I’ve become more spiritual, Thanksgiving moved into top position for favorite holiday.  I prefer the lower key ambience and taking more time to reflect deeply on the people who have given special meaning to my life — a simple kindness, a confidante’, an excellent health care provider…

But this year, things changed.  It occurred to me that many of our holidays have been virtual holidays, perhaps the precursor to the internet’s fake news.  After all, no one knows for sure if Christ’s birthday was December 25thValentine’s Day is just as mysterious.  And Thanksgiving — well what am I giving thanks for if my ancestors came to America, killed the Native American Indians then stole their homeland only to destroy it?  That reality sickens me.

I’ve long felt that Thanksgiving was the more solemn of holidays but now more deeply understand why.   No more “celebrating” fake holidays for me.  Expressing gratitude on any arbitrary day, and as many days as possible throughout the year are my days of thanks giving.  Now that’s something real, and worth celebrating.

100_2428 heart pie
Main ingredient of my apple pie? Love. Lots of it!

There’s a traditional Native American Seneca greeting I love any time of the year:  Na:weh Skennio

It means Thank you for being!  For all that you do and for who you are, I thank you for being. – Jamie Sams in The Fabric of the Future

And that makes any day of the year a real holiday in my heart.