Get More Social

By now, you know my feelings about the overuse and addictive characteristics of social media, particularly as it hampers one’s interest in human to human communication and experiencing the natural environment.  I offer Christina Farr’s article in the hopes it will help those of you trying to detox and return to a more serene, content and manageable life.  As a society, we do have the ability to take back our lives.  Have you noticed a recent wave of people saying, “Enough is enough” and unplugging to stop the progression of anxiety, depression, chaos and confusion that social media has introduced into their lives?

While Christina offers her personal experience of attending a formal camp to unplug, you can reduce stress and create a more rich and satisfying life by asking yourself a few introspective questions like:

  1. What is truly important to me?  Personal time with friends and loved ones, or how many likes I’ve received?
  2.  If I had one day left on this planet, what would I do — would I post on social media or respond to that inner nudge to do something I always wanted to do like mountain climb or learn to play a musical instrument?  What have I always wanted to do but spent my hours on social media instead?
  3. How do I feel inside when taking a walk in nature, looking at someone in the eye and seeing their smile versus hearing constant pings on my device?
  4. Is my time better spent helping someone through volunteer work or trying to impress and compete with the virtual lives of others?
  5. What makes me feel content?  What makes me feel anxious or depressed?

Make a list if you need to.  Let it look you squarely in the eye and you’ll know what you need to do to truly live a meaningful life.   Here’s how Christina handled her social media addiction:

Social media detox: Christina Farr quits Instagram, Facebook

Christina Farr used to spend 5 hours a week posting and interacting with friends on Instagram. She quit cold this summer, and her life changed dramatically for the better.

Source: Social media detox: Christina Farr quits Instagram, Facebook

Social Media aka S&M

Bam! Bam! Bam! Strangers pound on my door.   Ding. Ding. Ding! DING. DING. DING!  The PC shouts Facebook sent 26 e-mails!  Already?  Only a few days ago I dabbled on FB during our workshop.  Now voicemail haunts me with social media messages.  I feel alarmed.  The inferno is building, engulfing me and my time.  Hours sizzle away, days go up in smoke, night quickly singes morning then BOOSH!  My responsibilities topple over.  Hopes swirl around my peaceful life exploding into the black hole.  Like trying to contain a room ablaze, something tells me I’m better off not opening the door.  It’s not good to play with matches I’ve been told.

match-631729_1280

Argh I get a little cranky when sleep deprived.  Time to go outside and breathe some fresh air.

The Authentic Life of Nature

Driving home on this rainy Saturday evening, the windshield wipers are paragraphs separating my thoughts.  I’ve been hand-drumming for 3 hours in a drum circle at the local health food store.  Some of the participants I’ve known for decades, others I met today.

The face of my friend flashes through my mind.  We lunched earlier at a neighborhood deli  whose house-made bread is better than anything in Manhattan for sure.   I met Meg through hand drumming a decade ago.  We smile, laugh, talk serious.  We are not looking down at our phones because we intentionally have unsophisticated, un-smart phones.  Just practical little devices for emergency.  That makes sense to us.  Neither of us wants to be tethered to technology.   We talk dogs, travel, gardening.  The wonder of a kindergartener seeing a real robin or eating a nasturtium.

“What does it taste like?” I am curious to know.

“A little peppery,” she says, and especially to a five-year old.

“Like arugula?”

“Exactly.”

“I’ve always wanted to grow asparagus,” I tell her.  “I put it in with rhubarb last year.”  She nods, confirming my assumption that they are good companions.  My friend teaches biology.  I hope she can teach me about growing asparagus.  “I didn’t know what to do with it at the end of last season…now I’ve got a 12” stalk like you see in the grocery store but next to it is a 4-5’ high, tree-like stalk but much thinner…” I show her with my hands.  “It’s actually got several thin branches that also look like asparagus…”

May 2017 015 Asparagus branches
asparagus branches…

“My friend Margaret grew asparagus.  I can ask her,” she offers.

“Great!  I’ll send you a photo to show her.”

“She doesn’t do e-mail so she would have to come to my house and look at my phone.”

If anyone can easily explain how to properly grow asparagus please contact me!

Hmmm.  This is interesting I think.  There are more people than the handful in my Social Media workshop and me who are intentionally not wired, or loosely.

My friend and I agree how much we love getting together for lunch or dinner, being in nature, the warmth of human communication.  Her eyes twinkle when I share a bit of synchronicity with her.  “Good thing you were aware, and paying attention to notice all those things,” she says.  Good thing you weren’t looking down at your phone and I could see your smile I think.

“I notice and appreciate nature more and more each year.  I’ve never considered myself very religious, but a spiritual person,” I tell her.  “I’ve been reading more of the Tao and it speaks truth to me.  Everywhere.”  Her smile confirms we are on the same page.  I like making eye contact and our welcome and parting hugs.

Swish-swish.  Swish-swish.  The parting conversation with another friend at the drum circle pops into my head.  “I’m addicted to my phone,” he confesses then shows me a photo another drumming friend posted 17 minutes ago.  I confide that I’ve signed-up for a Social Media workshop, that I’m hoping to find a balance so I can still function in a technological society but not become an addict.

“Did you see the 60 Minutes segment on technology intending to make you addicted to your phone?”  I ask, feeling fear and audacity rising within me.

“Well, I don’t think they want you to be addicted,” he says.  “Just use it a lot.”

I can’t imagine having to ask others to like me I think.  It just sounds so, so unnatural.  Either you like me or you don’t, but do you have to announce it to the world?  Is privacy passé?  Social media is the antithesis of my values.  I’ve never wanted 1,000 friends.  That sounds too exhausting.  I like the quality ones I have and they know it.  Solid, true friends sharing quality time together… Does the world need to know that?   Swish-swish.  Swish-swish.  The wipers clear away the thoughts that have kept me true to my values but from going with the crowd and against my own grain.

Faces of people I’ve hand-drummed with over the years are a slide show in my mind.  The deep connection we’ve developed through hand drumming is like the comfort of a best friend yet I may not know the person, their last name, career, education, socio-economic status, ethnicity, where they live, or any other defining label, and it doesn’t matter.   We speak a universal language that has no words but is expressed from hands to hearts, through conga drums, djembes, doumbeks, bongos, or any other piece of percussion (we are not prejudice).  Hand drumming is yin-yang conversing —  talking and listening at the same time.

I’ve often described hand drumming as cooking a large vat of soup where everyone adds a little something different be it a vegetable, herb, color or spice, and soon the flavor deepens, the aroma permeates the air and it’s evolved into something so darn good that I  wonder why people do recreational drugs when they can hand drum.

Dogwood's Grace

Swish-swish.  Slowing rain reveals the lush green mountainside.  Rounding the corner, I’m home now, welcomed by dogwoods brilliant as the full moon, and bursting pinks.   I’m breathless from the splendor of spring.  Can social media really do that for me?